The Gift of Presence: How Disconnecting Helps Women Reconnect with Themselves

It's 6AM, and before you've even properly opened your eyes, your mind is already racing through the day's responsibilities. Two hours later, you're balancing breakfast preparation with responding to texts, checking your calendar, and mentally cataloging the growing list of people who need something from you. Sound familiar?

For women navigating midlife transitions, whether that's menopause, career shifts, supporting older teens, empty nesting, or caring for aging parents, this constant state of divided attention has become our normal. We are masters at being everywhere except where we actually are: fully present in our own lives.

We are masters at being everywhere except where we actually are: fully present in our own lives.

The Midlife Disconnect

By the time we reach our mid-thirties and beyond, many of us have perfected the art of outward connection while losing the ability to connect inward. The irony isn't lost on us: we're more "connected" than ever through technology, yet increasingly disconnected from ourselves.

This disconnect becomes particularly pronounced during perimenopause and menopause, when our bodies and minds undergo significant changes. At a time when we most need to listen to our bodies and honor our needs, we're often too distracted by external demands to hear our own internal wisdom.

The constant juggling of responsibilities, career demands, family needs, and community obligations leaves little room for self-connection. And in the spaces where we might once have found quiet, we now fill with scrolling, streaming, and digital noise. We've become strangers to ourselves in the process.

The Power of Intentional Disconnection

What happens when we intentionally step away from our devices, responsibilities, and the constant noise of modern life? Initially, there's often discomfort, the unease of being separated from devices, the wandering thoughts about tasks undone, the guilt about taking time away.

But something remarkable begins to happen as this initial discomfort subsides.

Without the constant pull of notifications, responsibilities, and others' expectations, we begin to settle into a different rhythm, a rhythm that's actually our own. In the absence of external voices, the internal voice grows stronger.

The simple act of walking without a destination or purpose allows thoughts to untangle. Sitting in silence becomes less uncomfortable and more revealing. Conversations deepen beyond the surface-level exchanges that dominate our daily interactions.

During Strength & Grace Women's Retreats, I’ve witnessed the transformation unfold as women give themselves permission to disconnect and simply be.

Find Presence at the Strength & Grace Summer 2025, Women’s Yoga & Wellness Retreat

What Happens in the Space of Presence

The transformation that occurs isn't magic, it's what naturally happens when we're given the space, permission, and gentle guidance to be fully present:

1. Physical Reconnection: Away from screens and seated desk work, we begin to inhabit our bodies differently. We notice sensations we've been ignoring, both pleasurable ones and important signals. Many experience a reduction in tension-related discomfort as they bring mindful attention to their physical experience.

2. Emotional Clarity: The emotional fog that often accompanies midlife transitions begins to lift when we're not constantly distracting ourselves. Without the noise of constant input, it becomes easier to distinguish between emotions and understand their true sources.

3. Desire Recognition: Perhaps most profoundly, we begin to reconnect with what we actually want. Not what we should want, or what others expect us to want, but our authentic desires. For women in midlife who have spent decades prioritising others' needs, this reconnection can be revolutionary.

Without the noise of constant input, it becomes easier to distinguish between emotions and understand their true sources.

The Neurological Case for Presence

This isn't just feel-good philosophy, there's solid science behind the power of presence. During perimenopause and menopause, fluctuating hormones can impact neurotransmitters that affect mood, focus, and memory. The constant partial attention most of us live with compounds these challenges.

Research shows that mindfulness practices and intentional presence can help:

- Reduce cortisol levels

- Improve sleep quality

- Enhance cognitive function and memory

- Regulate emotional responses

Dr. Sara Gottfried, author of "The Hormone Cure," notes that mindfulness practices can be particularly powerful during menopause because they help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, countering the stress response that exacerbates many menopausal symptoms.

Practices to Cultivate Presence

There are several simple yet powerful practices that can help women reconnect with themselves:

Dawn Silence

Starting your day with 15-30 minutes of silence before engaging with technology creates a foundation of presence. Sit outside with tea, watch the sunrise, or simply be with your breath. This gentle transition into the day sets an intention of presence that carries forward.

Mindful Eating

Try eating one meal each day in complete silence, paying attention to textures, flavors, and your body's signals of hunger and satisfaction.

Nature Immersion

The Japanese practice of forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) involves wandering slowly through natural settings without a destination, using all senses to absorb the environment. Research shows this practice can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormone production, and boost immunity, all particularly beneficial during the menopausal transition.

Deep Listening

The experience of speaking without interruption and listening without planning a response cultivates deep presence.

Nature immersion can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormone production, and boost immunity, all particularly beneficial during the menopausal transition.

Bringing Presence Into Daily Life

The challenge, of course, is maintaining presence within the demands of everyday life. Here are some practical approaches:

Morning before media: Commit to 10 minutes of presence each morning before engaging with phones, news, or emails. This might be meditation, journaling, or simply sitting with your morning tea and noticing your breath and body.

Presence pauses: Set three alarms throughout your day as reminders to pause for 60 seconds of conscious breathing and body awareness.

Tech-free transitions: Create small buffers of presence between activities. Instead of immediately filling transition times with phone checking, give yourself permission to simply be for a few moments.

Weekly nature immersion: Schedule at least 30 minutes weekly to be in nature without multitasking or documenting the experience.

Presence partners: Consider finding a friend who shares your commitment to presence, and check in with each other weekly about your practice.

While dedicated retreat time at places like The Summer Women’s Yoga & Wellness Retreat at Cabilla offers a powerful immersion in these practices, the true journey happens when you carry presence back into your daily life.

The path back to yourself begins with a single moment of true presence.

The Most Precious Gift

As women navigating the rich but challenging terrain of midlife, the most valuable gift we can give ourselves is our own presence. It's not self-indulgent, it's necessary maintenance of our most important relationship: the one with ourselves.

In a world that profits from your distraction and self-abandonment, presence becomes a revolutionary act of self-reclamation. Whether it's through dedicated retreat time or daily micro-practices, the path back to yourself begins with a single moment of true presence.

Experience the transformative power of presence in a supportive community of women navigating similar life transitions at our next Strength & Grace Women's  Yoga & Wellness Retreat.